mediocrity???

I am realizing that there is a pattern in my life that I think I have probably always followed. Recently I have taken up a little hobby of painting. My father in law gave me some basic pointers on oil painting while he was here, and I have made a few mediocre paintings...not bad for a beginner, I am told, but certainly nothing to rave about. I picked up some water color pencils the other day and used those to color in some drawings I made to add texture and depth. Once again...not bad, but nothing great. (Though it was a lot cleaner and faster...my kind of thing! LOL!) I am also a good cook...but not great; a good writer - even a few publishings - but not spectacular; I can carry a tune, but my voice isn't rich and deep; I play a "mean" bunch of chords or worship music, but don't ask me to read the hymnal or I will definitely choke; I've done some speaking recently and enjoy it, but have heard better. Mediocrity seems to be the theme of my life! On top of that, when I get tired of something, I stop doing whatever it is...scrapbooking, crafting, decorating, etc! I guess that's probably why I never get past "fine" to "wow!"
So I was thinking over things in my life and I am so thankful that there are few things I cannot just quit when I am tired of it! Being a fulltime mom and teacher and wife is tiring and can be boring sometimes! (Shocker, I know!) But if there was ever anything that I am determined to master, it is these roles in my life! It seems the more I do and the harder I try, the worse I think I am becoming, though! It can be relentless and challenging...but it can also be rewarding and fulfilling!
Take this day, for example...
We got up this morning and I was cold and grumpy and suffering from a "Nyquil hangover." I HATE cold weather and winter (in case you didn't know that about me!) and so facing each winter day is a struggle for me anyway. The kids had a pile of work to do for school, including 2 tests for John. He is at the end of his second unit, so there are a ton of things that he is learning and having to be tested in, but I have not done a great job at teaching him to study, so I was dreading that aspect of the day. Shawn came home early and helped me do school, and though I should have been happy about that, it just made me feel even more like I was failing! (I should note that he, in no way, made me feel this way!) By mid afternoon I was in my room crying about failing at life and missing my life in Malawi and hating the weather, and grieving about news I heard from a friend of things that she will be facing...I was overwhelmed and wanted to just give up and go to sleep!
But this is life, not a hobby or a whim. I cannot just give up. I could settle for mediocrity, but I desire so much more than that for my kids and my marriage! The people in this house are the one thing I will push on for.
And God is good...he willl not give me more than I can handle, even when I do not feel like I can handle what he has put in front of me!
By the end of the day we had conquered a few tests (with good grades!) and were even able to get ahead with a few lessons! The house is not clean, but we enjoyed the kids this afternoon. I look forward to doing some painting tomorrow with my extremely talented daughter - who will end up drawing and painting a lot better than her mom!
I guess I am willing to settle for mediocrity in the areas of my life that are not important in the eternal perpective.(crafting, singing, cleaning, cooking, etc) But I am not willing to be less than what God has designed me to be. So I will push on and pray! (Even though they are calling for the dreaded snow tonight!) I encourage you to do the same!